The Way My Brain Works

I do a lot of self-censoring in my every day life. I just have this weird brain that wants to make jokes or ask questions that wouldn’t be deemed normal or appropriate. I’m proud that, for the most part, I can pass as a norm, but I do fear for the day when I’m old and have fewer filters. I’m hoping people will write me off as eccentric.

Some of the “repressed” comments?

I was talking to an HR representative once about background checks and that failed background checks can result in termination (conversation, no one was in trouble), the first thing that popped in my head was, “You mean fired, right? Because I’m not OK with being assassinated.”

I worked somewhere that had a team of business managers and the organization insisted in referring to them as BMs. I was CONSTANTLY thinking, “He he, you said BM.”

A while back, while airport security was still very jumpy about EVERYTHING, I was questioned about my knitting needles on the plane. What I wanted to say was, “You’ve seen Gross Pointe Blank, right? Are all pens and pencils coming off too?”


If you don’t know the reference, and don’t mind some Hollywood violence, you can watch the scene here. It isn’t too bad compared but you’ll never look at a pen the same way again.

(This is totally getting me stuck on the No-Fly list, isn’t it.)

Bonus share. This time I did actually say what crossed my mind first.

Walking through the linen department of a store once with my Mom and she asked, “Do you need new towels?” I thought about it for a minute and finally responded, “Oh, might as well. It’s easier than washing the dirty ones.” The women next to us in the aisle choked. I don’t know if she was laughing or horrified.


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