I’ve been thinking that I wussed out on the resolutions. I only set a few and I made them obtainable. What is the good of a resolution if it isn’t crazy hard to meet? If I follow my original plan, I might actually make some of my resolutions and that goes against the grand tradition of resolutions.
So I’ve re-evaluated my plan and adjusted things for some proper resolutions. Let’s get this right people. If we don’t start out every year with the intention of turning our lives upside down, we’re just wasting the year.
The faint of heart is going to resolve to lose a few pounds, eat healthier, or exercise more often. Wimps. I resolve to change my body! I would like smaller feet, curvier legs, and a longer neck. Mind control. I just need to concentrate, try really hard, and probably eat
acscii acai berries or something. Or maybe it is quinoa. I don’t know but I’m pretty sure the only reason I haven’t changed these things before is lack of motivation.
I need more money. Now that I think about it, I would like a lot more money. I think the best solution is to win the lottery so my resolution this year is to win the lottery. That is probably going to be best, most practical, way to go.
Fix Up The House
Clearly, there is a lot to do around here. I think only planning a few big projects is under-estimating my skillz. I think I should just resolve to finish up all the work on the house. That way, I can take next year off. If I try hard enough, and quit my job (which won’t be a problem since I’m winning the lottery), I can have everything done around here. Note to self: win the lottery early in the year so I have more time to completely remodel and decorate my house.
Well, the only solution is to start cooking from scratch and only buy locally grown, organic produce from the farm. In fact, I should probably just make part of my yard a garden so I can grow all my own food ensuring its healthfulness. I’m pretty sure that eating this healthy will give me more energy so this will be a snap. Maybe next year I’ll write the cook book from all the recipes I develop this year. One step at a time though.
Learn to Speak French and Spanish
It would be pretty cool to be bi-lingual so I think I’ll pick up these two languages this year and then next year, when I’m traveling on my lottery winnings because I have all that free time since the house is done, I’ll be able to order my organic-healthy food in restaurants much better. I’m pretty sure this will be fun and I’ll acquire a lot of sophistication at the same time.
Do Yoga Everyday
All the Hollywood starlets that have the best bodies say they get it from doing yoga so I’m going to just do yoga every day. I’ll probably look like a Hollywood starlet pretty soon.
Be a Better Person
Let’s just wrap this all up into one. I’m not going to be late for anything anymore, I’ll pay all my bills on time (which means I’ll stop losing them in the cavern with handles I call a purse), I’ll always multi-task. No more doing only one thing at a time. That’s a waste! I’ll always do multiple things at once. I mean, why just make a meal if I can also be dutifully calling my mother, in a yoga stance in the kitchen, while paying bills online. I mean, seriously. What is everyone else’s problem? This seems pretty easy.
I feel superior already.