Conversations

Because my family is funny. Even if it doesn’t seem so at the time…

(Proudly showing my Mom a post that I had worked hard on, was kind a funny, and was getting some actual traffic)

Me: “Here, read this.”

Mom: (reads for a minute) “Are you trying to be like Erma Bombeck?”

Like Bombeck. Only with threatening axes in the background.

(I had made, from scratch, Sweet and Sour shrimp for my 96-year-old grandfather, who normally loves sweet and sour anything and is really a very gentle, kind man.)

Me: “Did you like it Grandpa?”

Grandpa: “It was too sweet. And too sour.”

I can’t win.

(Grandpa again, because he is a very cautious man and is always sure we are in imminent danger of hurting ourselves.)

Me: (standing at a porch railing that looks out over a view of a river a ways below the porch I’m on.)

Grandpa: “Be careful not to lean over too far. You don’t want to fall over the railing.”

Me: “I’m not leaning Grandpa.”

Grandpa: “Because, you know babies have big heads which tips them forward when they lean over toilets and they can drown.”

Me: (pause) “Wait, what are you saying about my head?”

Grandpa: (just laughs to himself)

Troublemaker

(Watching a contemporary TV show with Grandma and the actress was wearing a low-cut dress)

Grandma: “That’s pornography!”

Me: “It’s just cleavage Grandma.”

Grandma: “Oh”

No porn allowed.

(Stepped aside at a register for an older gentleman to get rung up and accidentally said to him:)

Me: “Go ahead, babe.”

You said what?

Hey, if they aren’t going to read the blog, I’m gonna write about them.

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One Response to Conversations

  1. Sue says:

    Totally hilarious! Of course knowing you I already imagined the quite interesting stock you’ve come from!

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