Over the last few months I’ve struggled with how much to share here. This is a blog. It is a public forum and I’m under no delusions about how interesting I am. I’m no design maven, I’m no DIY expert, I’m not even a lifestyle person; I’m just a regular person whose house needs to be vacuumed and who forgets to put the garbage out for pick-up most Fridays. But I consume a lot of material online and find so much representation for the people who do it perfectly or who are stylish and creative but not a lot for those of us who don’t have a design background or who have four kids or four dogs (or both). Don’t get me wrong, I love many of the fabulous sites and find inspiration and ideas from these people but there is a perverse, contrary person in me who refuses to stage pictures and freely admits multiple errors and failures as I stand next to all the experts (well, probably more like down the block and around the corner from them).
I just really like holding up reality next to the fabulous. I like that contrast. The fabulous is all the sweeter for living the reality and reality is more comforting and grounding when you’ve experienced fabulous for a little while. Recently though, I took my eye off reality because it wasn’t something I wanted to deal with.
A few months ago I was diagnosed with uterine cancer. Don’t worry, it is the “best” cancer to have next to skin cancer. It was only stage one and giving up the uterus would take care of things. After the surgery, they decided that, even though they got everything, they would like to do a little radiation. It is only a very little and I’m not sick or losing my hair or anything. Something that does bug me though is that I wish I had dealt with this sooner. Yup, I have great benefits and really good medical care in general but I was embarrassed to go to the gynecologist while I was having a period. That’s it. We don’t like to talk about them. I don’t like to talk about them. But it is a reality that I shouldn’t have been ashamed of. If you are having issues with Aunt Flo (terrible euphemism), just get it checked out right away. Your dignity can take it.
The odd thing is, SO many other women I’ve told have gone through something very similar. I can’t believe how common this is! If I hadn’t been so shy about it with friends and family, I might have been less shy with my doctor. Why was I pretending everything was fabulous when I was struggling with something? My doctor also told me that endometrial issues like I was having can very often turn into cancer. Ignoring the reality can make any of us women, very sick. It’s OK not to be fabulous all the time. If something is cramping your style (HA! Pun!), talk to your doctor and trusted friends.
Cancer is a scary word but it hasn’t been that bad. Reality is always there, whether we want it to be or not. For me, facing it hasn’t hurt the fabulous. I hope each and every one of you, if you have a little reality you have been avoiding, looks it in the eye and beats it down with your fabulousness. Get your screenings, make that appointment you have been avoiding, do that “thing” you know in your heart you need to do.
You got this.